100WC-week 12- Nguyen Hoang Vo, 7A1, HNTL

Peter is a very fat boy.When he was 12 years old , he weighted 70 kg. In every morning , he has 10 sandwiches with lots of white sugar for breakfast. Libby is his best friend but she is thin and thoughtful. She sees Peter gets fatter day by day and weights gain is not controlled,she is very afraid about him.So she decided to help him.In every morning when Peter are eating sandwiches, she tries to make it fall down haft of them and she hurry run away . She is so energetic like she was charged the battery.

by Nguyen Hoang Vo, 7A1, Hanoi Thanglong, Hanoi, Vietnam.

2 thoughts on “100WC-week 12- Nguyen Hoang Vo, 7A1, HNTL”

  1. Hi Vo!

    One thing i really liked about your piece was how funny it was like, “She sees Petter get fatter by the day” the was funny. I have a connection to the story that someone else wrote for this week #12 it was someone in your school. Something you can improve on is maybe talk about something else than just Petter and Libby maybe change the topic a little bit. Also, i really like how you used all of the given words to use into your writing.

    Happy, Writing
    From, Mark In Illiniois

  2. Hello,

    Peter has terrible eating habits! It is a good thing that Libby is such a great friend. I like the description you included about her, ‘thin and thoughtful’ is an interesting phrase. The way you used the prompt words is very original and creative.
    My suggestion to make your writing even better is to be certain to put a period at the end of sentences. Stopping at the end of one thought before you begin to write about another one is important so your reader understands what you are explaining to them.

    Thank you for sharing your story,
    Gina Ruffcorn (Team 100, Iowa USA)

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